70: Overcoming Unspeakable Darkness. Protecting Children. How to Support a Military Spouse. Living a GOOD Life. With Iris Gardner


0:00:00 – Opening

0:04:32 – Intro to Iris Gardner.

0:23:40 – Sexual Assault–First incident as a child.

0:39:59 – Tips to prevent abuse.  Why it’s hard to come forward.

0:51:16 – Iris growing up with her abuser.

1:01:24 – Resulting relationships, the wrong path, and more Darkness.

1:13:11 – Bouncing back.  The beginning.

1:26:50 – Being a Military Wife – Emotional Independence, and tips to be have a successful relationship.

1:47:12 – How to Live a Happy Life after Abuse.

1:57:00 – Jocko’s letter to his daughter.  Appreciate your mother.

2:13:30 – Support, Cool OnnitJockoStore stuff, with Jocko White Tea and Psychological Warfare (on iTunes). Extreme Ownership (book), (Jocko’s Kids’ Book) Way of the Warrior Kid, and The Muster002

2:40:28 – Closing Gratitude.



New JOCKO PODCAST Episode is Up.

4 thoughts on “70: Overcoming Unspeakable Darkness. Protecting Children. How to Support a Military Spouse. Living a GOOD Life. With Iris Gardner”

  1. Thank you so much, Jocko, for bringing Iris on to tell her amazing story. And thank you to Iris for her awe inspiring courage, obviously–what a strong lady.

    I love all Jocko podcast episodes and reference it frequently to friends and family…been a follower since Day One and you have without question changed my life in a huge way (getting up at 4:30, working out every day, eating better, reading more, etc…). I have many favorite episodes. But this one was super special. Thank you.

  2. Dear Mr Joko, Dear Mr Echo, Queen Gardne.
    Thank you.
    I listened and went ahead to talk to my girls. To my amazement they shared my tears as they fell, laughed with me as I smiled and we all gathered in the strength of the overcoming hug.
    Queen Gardne, I am forever in your debt.

    Mr Joko, thou I am new to this and in no position to ask questions I keep on thinking about your opening to the podcast no 70, where you say that ievel can pray on the week.
    I did not ever feel week. I was 9 years old. 170cm tall, 50kg, and spoke 5 languages. Always visible to everyone and always outspoken. I think it might be others out there that were also the strongest as the devil started following them and there for might be good to recognize. My q is, If you always saw yourself strong still, as me, were not able to fight it of… still as me, lost. Where does one go form there? I am good today and have looked into this predators live eyes for one last time, to tell him that he owes me nothing. But how does one come to terms with the losing when believing I was winning? Are there situations when thinking one wins is preferred to the actual loss? This not to linger in the doubt but still to reach forward.

  3. Wow. What a powerful episode. Iris, mad respect to you, woman. You are a bad-ass in many aspects, but your willingness to talk openly about your abuse takes a special courage. Hats off to you.

  4. The openness in this episode is astonishing and moving. I’m the husband to a wife with a similar story to Iris concerning the childhood abuse. This talk has given me insight and a better understanding of what my wife is dealing with. – Also, as a father, the advice on educating my kids about this topic, and how to handle the uncomfortable-ness of it is priceless.

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